are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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