As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
