We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
