if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
