don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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