O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
