Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
