How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
