i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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