don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
