i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
