party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
