suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
