YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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