What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
