quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I enjoy the company of your penis
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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