i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Randomize
