Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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