Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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