theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
