lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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