He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize