She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
