I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
