My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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