Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
