And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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