i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
