Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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