Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
