booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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