I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
