it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize