Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
