Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
