This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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