I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
