I just made out with a guy for $7.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
