There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
