i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
