fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
