It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
