If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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