Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
