What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
