4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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