I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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