You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
