do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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