There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we're making bets on your personal life
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
