that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
