Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
