I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
you had me at cake vodka
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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