Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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