im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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