omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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