Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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