Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
