Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
