My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
