I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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