either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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