College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
