I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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